30th anniversary of 1st TF internet post is bashing comic

[JediTricks]

Spotted this on TFW2k5 and was funny enough to discuss here.

Here's the Google Groups version of the Usenet post from May 22nd, 1984, which appears to be the first internet comment about Transformers ever:

https://groups.google.com/forum/?hl=en# ... MOYd_32hwJ

My vote for worst comic of the year would have to go to Marvel's TRANSFORMERS #1. Has anyone out there seen it? I'm still trying to figure out why I wanted to spend $.75 on it in the first place, but any reason I may have had was inadequate.

The premise is that two groups of 'robots' evolve on a faraway planet and start an eons long war for control of same. This knocks the planet from its orbit and sends it spinning through our solar system (!) The goodguy robots send an expedition out to punch a path through the asteroid belt, where they are ambushed by the badguy robots and all end up crashing into Earth and being suspended for ages in a volcano. Then they wake up and start the battle again.

I had thought I had seen bad comic writing at its peak during Marv Wolfman's tenure on MACHINE MAN (MM 10-13 in particular are classically bad comics and can be savored as such), but I think Ralph Macchio has topped even this. The following is typical :

--The AUTOBOTS. Whereas life elsewhere in the cosmos usually evolved through carbon-bonding, here it was the interaction of naturally occurring gears levers and pulleys that miraculously brought forth sentient beings.

In addition, both sides go through incredibly bad sequences to establish the identity of each robot in the worst 'of course you know..' manner, and there are gaping holes in even elementary plot logic.

First has been accusing Marvel of what ammounts to dumping. I cannot think of any other reason for this comic to exist,and admit to being mystified about its intended audience (esp given the price).

On a more pleasant note, many thanks to y'all out there for plugging Swamp Thing and Summerset (sp?) Holmes. I am enjoying them.

Clear Ether
Ted Nolan

Ah Usenet, I remember him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite flames, he hath burned my back a thousand times.

That said, from what I've seen he's not entirely wrong, that Marvel Transformers #1 is pretty ghastly in writing, though I've never had the chance to read it c2c. I dunno about worst of the year though.

And if you're wondering, 1984's 75 cents is just $1.70 in today's money. HOW DID THEY PAY THEIR RENT?!?

[Shockwave]

What I find "funny" is that anyone is celebrating the 30th anniversary of something that happened on the internet

Yeah the writing was pretty bad, but part of that was because of marvel mandates that stated when a new character was introduced, their name had to be said on panel. Hence the reason for the infamous splash page of the Ark with the Autobots yelling their own names out.

[Onslaught Six]

Yeah the writing was pretty bad, but part of that was because of marvel mandates that stated when a new character was introduced, their name had to be said on panel. Hence the reason for the infamous splash page of the Ark with the Autobots yelling their own names out.

I think that was Hasbro, not Marvel.

[JediTricks]

"Naturally-occurring gears, levers and pulleys", ladies and gentlemen. Such a bad understanding of what a robot is.

As for the pages full of character callouts, that was SOP with Marvel back then, from what I remember. It was inelegant but got the job done.

[Tigermegatron]

I think it's a obvious joke. I'm surprised so many Internet TF fans think this is truth and not a joke that was cooked up by TFW2005.

[Onslaught Six]

...It is, though. It's on Usenet; Google Groups has it archived. You should know, Deathy, you used to frequent ATT!

[andersonh1]

That's hilarious. The first ever Transformers post is a gripe!

It's not an unfair gripe though. That first comic is not all that good.

[Dominic]

Yeah. As much as I liked some of the later comics, (some being from less than a year later), those first few issues sucked. Shame on Macchio and Shooter.

As for the pages full of character callouts, that was SOP with Marvel back then, from what I remember. It was inelegant but got the job done.

No. It sucked. That was bad even by the (low) standards of the 80s.

"Hey, my name is Jawbone. I am going to stand here and run my damned mouth while I should be either running away, trying to stop somebody from running away and/or fighting. A more competent writer and artist team would show my personality and ablities by having me do something this issue. But, none of that here I guess."

I had that spotted as a kid (not long after the book first came out), and it has not improved with time. There are better examples of call-outs using (still cumbersome, but less offensive) narration boxes in later issues of the comic.

"Naturally-occurring gears, levers and pulleys", ladies and gentlemen. Such a bad understanding of what a robot is.

Well, gears and levers and pulleys could be the foundation for a robot. A massively inefficient robot, but a robot just they same.

Naturally occuring gears, levers and pulleys? That is just awful.

[JediTricks]

"Naturally-occurring gears, levers and pulleys", ladies and gentlemen. Such a bad understanding of what a robot is.

Well, gears and levers and pulleys could be the foundation for a robot. A massively inefficient robot, but a robot just they same.

A Gilligan's Island robot, perhaps.

[Almighty Unicron]

"Naturally-occurring gears, levers and pulleys", ladies and gentlemen. Such a bad understanding of what a robot is.

Well, gears and levers and pulleys could be the foundation for a robot. A massively inefficient robot, but a robot just they same.

A Gilligan's Island robot, perhaps.

A wooden robot, you say.

Man, Hasbro owns both TF and D&D. I'd give my left nut for a warforged transformer.