Bay Ninja Turtles Obligatory Bitch Thread

[Tigermegatron]

With micheal bay doing this newer TMNT movie. it's guaranteed to be awful & upset the fan base.

Micheal bay will make this huge speech via the internet. informing the loyal TMNT veteran fans that this movie isn't for them,it's for a newer generation of fans that is much younger than they are.

Since micheal bay likes Shia Le bouf so much. Micheal bay will convince the TMNT creators to hire Shia La bouf as the main male lead for the live action TMNT movies. Shia Le Bouf will play the human character called "Casey Jones" in the live action TMNT movies.

using transformers as a mirror,their's bound to be the following in the TMNT movie: (1) tons of bathroom humor. (2) all ages intended viewers age. (3) as far as the scenes go,they'll go from serious to comedy,to toilet humor,to violence, to parents making fools of themselves. they'll be a few scenes of the girl friend wearing sexy clothes & riding a bike. (4) micheal bay will chose a amateur actor & make him the star. most viewers will hate him & say he can't act & ruins all the scenes he's in. (5) it won't revolve around the turtles. it'll be from a human point of view & how we react to 4 powerful turtles on earth. (6) the human cast will out number the turtles & villian cast 20 to one. the humans will get all the dialogue spoken words. the 4 turtles & villians will barely get to speak a sentence worth of dialogue. (7) similar to movie verse bumbleee who can't speak in words. one of the four turtles won't be able to speak. he'll have a voice problem due to shredder throwing a chinese star at his voice box & permanetly damaging his vocal cords. no worries he'll carry around a 1980''s boom box & try to talk in radio like wreckgar & movie verse bumblebee does. (8) the tmnt bay movies will be almost 3 hours longs & extremly boring. (9) the plots,arcs & dialogue will be extremly simplified & outdated. the turtles will talk in 1980's era dialogue. splinter will be a 1960's/1970's hippie. (10) since micheal bay loves potty humor. one of the turtles will run out of the bathroom begging for toilet paper. (11) the human male star actor will be Shia le bouf. he'll get the most dialogue,the most scenes. it'll be about a man growing up & gettintg his first turtle pet. shia's life lessons will Intertwine with the turtles lessons they learn in the movie. (12) splinter will give a huge speech at the end of the movie. send a message to the stars & ask for re-inforcements. (13) all the villians will wear silver & grey outfits & they'll all look the same. (14)splinter & shredder will have a epic battle at the end of the movie. where splinter cries shredder is too powerful. shia la bouf the earth human ally will save the day & defeat shredder with a alien artifact weapon. (15) similar to the live action TF movies. the human actors with the huge resumes & actual talent will get small roles & not that much dialogue. the human actors with bad acting skills & short resumes will be the stars of the TMNT movies & get all the dialogue spoken words. (16) Micheal bay & his crew,will take over the TMNT Movie toy line. they'll design toys that look Zero like the 1980's TMNT toys. most of them will look like misproprtioned wastes of plastic. the bad guys toys will be almost void of color & silver/grey. (17) shredder will die at the end of the first movie. he'll get thrown in a thrash can or thrown into a deep ocean. in the second movie he'll get brought back to life only to be a loyal servant to a even more powerful villian. in the 3rd movie shredder will live in a junk yard & exist to be a loyal servant to another evil villian. april o'neil will call megatron weak & tell him the new villian is stealing his leadership. shredder will team up with splinter to defeat the new villian. after they've defeated the villian,splinter will turn around & cut shredder in half with his sword.

[Onslaught Six]

The film is being written by Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec, who have worked together on Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol

Huh. I really liked that movie, actually. Everything hit on all cylinders there; go watch it if you want a good, well-put-together action movie that doesn't suck.

[JediTricks]

The film is being written by Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec, who have worked together on Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol

Huh. I really liked that movie, actually. Everything hit on all cylinders there; go watch it if you want a good, well-put-together action movie that doesn't suck.

I didn't see it, I wasn't judging it though, it looks alright if a tad generic, it's just that it's the only really successful thing they've done to date.

[Onslaught Six]

zomg is this concept art for teh movie?!111

Short answer: No

Long answer: Hell no, do you idiots even know anything about Ninja Turtles

Eastman and Laird (especially Eastman) used to draw this kind of fuckery all the time. For fun. "Hey, what if the Turtles were wearing space armour?" "Why would they do that?" "I don't know, I just want to draw a turtle in space armour." "And do what with it?" "Nothing? Hang it on my wall? For fun? Jesus, Pete."

Hell, Eastman is just the kind of guy who would draw this, give it to some executives and go, "Okay, now put this on the Internet and watch them all go nuts. It'll be fucking hilarious."

I love how people are describing the "blocky technological shapes" as being reminiscent of TF. Or, um, every piece of machinery Kevin Eastman has ever drawn.

[BWprowl]

Eastman and Laird (especially Eastman) used to draw this kind of fuckery all the time. For fun. "Hey, what if the Turtles were wearing space armour?" "Why would they do that?" "I don't know, I just want to draw a turtle in space armour." "And do what with it?" "Nothing? Hang it on my wall? For fun? Jesus, Pete."

Why do I get the feeling that I would love to watch a sitcom about these two?

[Onslaught Six]

Eastman and Laird (especially Eastman) used to draw this kind of fuckery all the time. For fun. "Hey, what if the Turtles were wearing space armour?" "Why would they do that?" "I don't know, I just want to draw a turtle in space armour." "And do what with it?" "Nothing? Hang it on my wall? For fun? Jesus, Pete."

Why do I get the feeling that I would love to watch a sitcom about these two?

I have actually always felt a strange kindred feeling between those two and Tycho and Gabe from Penny Arcade:

[Shockwave]

I'm wondering how we even have TMNT with these two getting along so horribly. It's a bit like He-Man. Early reports indicate that there was so much infighting at Mattel that no less than three people claim to have created He-Man.

[Onslaught Six]

I'm wondering how we even have TMNT with these two getting along so horribly. It's a bit like He-Man. Early reports indicate that there was so much infighting at Mattel that no less than three people claim to have created He-Man.

They didn't really get along "horribly." I was exaggerating. Honestly, I think it was just different ideas about what the TMNT "should" be. For example, Eastman was all for wacky ideas like Bebop, Rocksteady and Krang while Laird absolutely hated it--and all the stuff the original cartoon came up with. (There was a mandate, for a while, in the 2003 cartoon that no character should even MENTION pizza.) Eastman was behind Venus, the female Turtle. (Well, okay, he didn't invent her, but when the execs came up to them, Eastman was all for it.)

[Shockwave]

It's funny you would mention that because their love of pizza is one of the things that attracted me to the franchise to begin with (I religously love pizza). Sounds like Laird took himself too seriously. I mean what's the use of creating something if you can't have fun with it?

[Ursus mellifera]

I mean what's the use of creating something if you can't have fun with it?

I bet Dom can answer that question. I bet he can answer the hell out of it.