Revisiting BEAST WARS

"What? Transformers made from animals instead of vehicles and stuff? Doesn't sound so great, throw it to Kenner division, maybe they can make a quick buck or something."
Beast Wars, Machine Wars, Beast Machines... seeing a pattern? Coming soon: "Wars Wars"
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Dominic
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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by Dominic »

The "Low Road" was the most accurate name for any episode of anything, ever.

Dom
-unless of course there is an episode of "Kiss Play" called "Rape, rape, and more rape. Get off to girls who are 18+ but look 12 being raped. Super-rapey fun time."
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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by Gomess »

Dominic wrote:"Rape, rape, and more rape. Get off to girls who are 18+ but look 12 being raped. Super-rapey fun time."
I see you're a fan!

I thought Low Road was alright. Farts ARE funny, depending on context.

Ashton Kutcher fart = not funny.
Rhinox fart = funny.
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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by Dominic »

Any plot that requires the animation of a quivering rhino sphincter is an automatic "F".

Dom
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138 Scourge
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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by 138 Scourge »

But...it was deliberately going the slapstick/fart joke route. I dunno, once I realized the name didn't pertain to any aspect of the action of the episode, but rather, how deliberately goofy the ep was gonna be, I fell in love. Damn, that was a long sentence.

But yeah. Deliberately stupid, but in a smart way. Awesome.
Dominic wrote: too many people likely would have enjoyed it as....well a house-elf gang-bang.
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onslaught86
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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by onslaught86 »

I didn't personally enjoy the episode, but I will give them credit for acknowledging that they were sinking to a low level, heh.
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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by Mako Crab »

About 2 years ago I created a tiny little tribute website to Beast Wars. Under the character guide section I provided links to info about the animals that everyone turns into. Most of them went to the National Geographic site, but a few were unique. The T-rex page is my personal favorite. I always thought it would be cool and was surprised that no major sites did anything beyond the usual tech spec info. But anyway, here they are! Just the original cast for now.

Link to the character guide (pics are down, voice clips still work)
http://www.geocities.com/mako_crab/beastwars1.html

Optimus Primal is a GORILLA!
Rhinox is a RHINOCEROUS!
Rattrap is a STINKY RAT!
Cheetor is a CHEETAH!
Dinobot is a VELOCIRAPTOR!

Megatron is a TYRANNOSAURUS REX!
Scorponok is a SCORPION!
Tarantulus is a TARANTULA!
Terrorsaur is a PTEROSAUR!
Waspinator is a WASP!
Last edited by JediTricks on Sun Aug 10, 2008 2:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: quotes in UBB code were incorrect, causing links to not parse.
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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by Dominic »

Heh, Megatron, Waspinator, Tigatron and Inferno all scanned female beast modes. Ah, I wish we had some insecure fans, as this factoid would be so much more fun to know. :roll:

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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by Gomess »

STARATH WHERE IS MEGATRON GENDER CONFUSION FIC

>=O
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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by Mako Crab »

Sorry for the delay. I've been working overtime taking delicious screen-caps of Cybertron. Now back to Beast Wars!

Beast Wars part 2
written by Bob Forward

on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGHDx4ht ... re=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHwfqhlO ... re=related

Dinobot stands between the Maximals and their ship, and he's not moving an inch. He again challenges Primal to a duel for leadership of the Maximals with the fate of the loser resting at the bottom of a very deep canyon. Primal tries to reason with him, but that goes all of nowhere. Time for some... Metal Kombaaat!

Hehe. Sorry, couldn't resist. They're fighting over a pit on a narrow bridge! And it's 1996! So anyway we get some of the most awesomely fake sword fighting of all time right down to the cliche'd locking of swords as the fighters practically touch noses and snarl compliments at each other. So cute. We get a good back and forth with each of them delivering some punishing hits, when Primal loses his footing and slips off the edge of the natural bridge.

His monkey feet grad the ledge and he hangs on for dear life! Ohh, but it doesn't look good. Dinobot slowly moves in for the kill. But instead of stepping on his monkey toes, Dinobot does the honorable thing and hoists him back up onto the bridge. He explains that he wouldn't have earned the right to lead by beating him in such a dishonorable way. And then adds....

Dinobot: "I prefer to beat my opponents the old fashioned way; brutally!"

More bad sword fighting! Yes! Just up on a cliff overlooking the battle are the Predacons though, and they've got a stake in this battle too. And they talk! The Predacons actually talk in this episode!

Tarantulus: The winner isn't what interests me.
Megatron: Nor me, no. How much more preferable it would be if they both lost, yes."

So Waspy is established as a simpleton. Scorponok is your average thug. Tarantulus demonstrates a bit more smarts than the others, and we already met Megatron last time. Nothing from Terrorsaur but it's still early. They all transform and start shooting at the battling warriors!

At the last second Primal grabs Dinobot and leaps off the bridge! The missles and energy blasts just graze them. Primal hangs onto the ledge with one foot and Dinobot with the other all the while the Predacons keep firing on them. Rhinox and Cheetor are practically leaping into the line of fire to save their commander, but Rattrap isn't interested in getting himself shot. That is, until Rhinox grabs him by the pelt and reminds him who he should really be worried about. Hehehe.
Rhinox runs over and picks Primal and Dinobot both up with one hand. ONE HAND!!! Dude! You don't mess with that guy.

They all run for the Axalon just as the missles completely disintegrate the bridge! They all just barely make it except for Rattrap. The bridge explodes beneath his feet and he just completely falls. Luckily for his sorry hide that Primal is more prone to save his comrades than Rattrap is. Primal grabs Rattrap's hand just as he disappears out of sight and pulls him back up to safety. Aww. Can we get a thank-you? Maybe? Please? No.

Slaggin' rat.

Well that was fun. Megatron isn't too happy that everyone survived but it turns out that all their stray missles hit a mountain off in the distance and blow its top off. Beneath the mountain is a massive, MAAAASSIVE deposit of raw energon crystals. Like, the whole mountain IS energon crystals. That's big. That's enough to power an entire Predacon revolution. Let's go get it! And so they're off. Oh, I did think it was cute how Scorponok pointed out the mountain before it detonated. That's just precious.

The Maximals take a moment to catch their breath. Cheetor spots the Predacons heading away.

Cheetor: "Megatron's on the move. Bearing 6175."

Ahhh, sounds like technical jargon. Or maybe like someone was watching too much Star Trek and it worked its way into their writing. Bearing 6175? Sure, it sounds technical and there's nothing really wrong with it. But how about say, "He's heading north." Or maybe even simpler, "He's heading towards that gigantic mountain of energon." Oh well, no big deal.

Dinobot points out that with that much energon Megatron would be unstoppable. Rattrap, not one to be impressed by Dinobot's ability to state the obvious, tells Rhinox to waste him. And Rhinox starts charging! Whoa! I had forgotten about this part! They really don't take kindly to Predacons around here, not even Predacon defects.

Primal puts a stop to the fighting and instead asks for Dinobots advice as the resident expert on all things Predacon. So blah blah blah, things are sort of smoothed over and the only option is to stop Megatron. So off they go.

Walking around, walking, walking. I do like these night shots. The stars, the two moons, the stonehenge. Stonehenge? Oooh, mysterious. Who put that there?

Sight-seeing is over. Waspinator and Terrorsaur are on the attack! The Maximals all take up defensive positions within a cave and return fire, but these two are a little too quick for them. Primal takes to the air and knocks them around a bit with some of the more powerful ammo he's packing. And don't you know Dinobot nearly brings the cave down on top of all of them in his exuberance to toast his old buddies? Rattrap doesn't take kindly to that and pounces on the traitor, driving the barrel of his gun into his forehead.

Thankfully by now Waspy and Terrorsaur have retreated due to energon build-up. Primal lands back at the cave entrance to find his crew at each others' throats. He breaks it up and really asserts his authority this time.

Primal: "Rattrap, you gonna' listen and that's that!!!

Yeah!
Laaaater... they finally reach the mountain and guess who's there waiting for them? Predacons! Long story short, they all get into a big fight and dogpile everyone. And since they don't dare transform into robot mode with all that energon around, it's tooth and claw and drool all over the place. Very awesome. It becomes pretty obvious that the Predacons are losing this one, so as a last ditch effort Megatron transforms and fires off a couple missles at Primal.

Dinobot deflects the missles! I guess he's not such a bad guy after all. But the missles slam into the energon crystals and that's everyones' cue to get the hell out of there. Ohhh, problem. Megatron is offline. See, that's what happens when you soak up too much energon radiation. The other Preds don't seem to mind leaving him behind though.

Seconds before the whole mountain explodes Megatron miraculously snaps awake and leaps off the mountain! He is so toast anyway. That long of a fall, plus he was closer to the explosion than anyone else. Plus it was a whole mountain blowing up with energon. So totally dead.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maybe.

The Maximals celebrate their victory, but all Rattrap wants to know is if they can go home now. No, Rattrap. There's still the other Predacons to worry about. And there's still plenty more energon on the planet for them to harvest. And there's the issue of their ship not working at the moment. So for now let the battle be here, and let it be called....

Well you know the rest. :D

And that concludes the 2-part pilot to Beast Wars. Part 2 is already an improvement over part 1. We get a better feel for the group dynamic of the Maximals and the other Predacons even have a little bit of screen time too. Not much, but what can you do? We learn just enough about the planet to pique curiosity. Really, stonehenge? What's that about? And giant energon crystals? Those weren't present in G1. And the two moons. All very interesting. Not a bad pilot, but very cut and dry. It does its job nicely but doesn't do any more than it has to for now. Still, not horrible by any stretch of the imagination. Alright then, that's where I'll leave it.


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Re: Revisiting BEAST WARS

Post by Onslaught Six »

It just occured to me that Primal is clearly holding his swords backwards. They should definitely be going the opposite way.
BWprowl wrote:The internet having this many different words to describe nerdy folks is akin to the whole eskimos/ice situation, I would presume.
People spend so much time worrying about whether a figure is "mint" or not that they never stop to consider other flavours.
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